--- /dev/null
+# robotfindskitten NKI file v1.0
+Version: 1.0
+Name: Canonical non-kitten items
+Note: These headers are ignored in the current implementation
+
+"I pity the fool who mistakes me for kitten!", sez Mr. T.
+That's just an old tin can.
+It's an altar to the horse god.
+A box of dancing mechanical pencils. They dance! They sing!
+It's an old Duke Ellington record.
+A box of fumigation pellets.
+A digital clock. It's stuck at 2:17 PM.
+That's just a charred human corpse.
+I don't know what that is, but it's not kitten.
+An empty shopping bag. Paper or plastic?
+Could it be... a big ugly bowling trophy?
+A coat hanger hovers in thin air. Odd.
+Not kitten, just a packet of Kool-Aid(tm).
+A freshly-baked pumpkin pie.
+A lone, forgotten comma, sits here, sobbing.
+ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND CARPET FIBERS!!!!!
+It's Richard Nixon's nose!
+It's Lucy Ricardo. "Aaaah, Ricky!", she says.
+You stumble upon Bill Gates' stand-up act.
+Just an autographed copy of the Kama Sutra.
+It's the Will Rogers Highway. Who was Will Rogers, anyway?
+It's another robot, more advanced in design than you but strangely immobile.
+Leonard Richardson is here, asking people to lick him.
+It's a stupid mask, fashioned after a beagle.
+Your State Farm Insurance(tm) representative!
+It's the local draft board.
+Seven 1/4" screws and a piece of plastic.
+An 80286 machine.
+One of those stupid "Homes of the Stars" maps.
+A signpost saying "TO KITTEN". It points in no particular direction.
+A hammock stretched between a tree and a volleyball pole.
+A Texas Instruments of Destruction calculator.
+It's a dark, amphorous blob of matter.
+Just a pincushion.
+It's a mighty zombie talking about some love and prosperity.
+"Dear robot, you may have already won our 10 MILLION DOLLAR prize..."
+It's just an object.
+A mere collection of pixels.
+A badly dented high-hat cymbal lies on its side here.
+A marijuana brownie.
+A plush Chewbacca.
+Daily hunger conditioner from Australasia
+Just some stuff.
+Why are you touching this when you should be finding kitten?
+A glorious fan of peacock feathers.
+It's some compromising photos of Babar the Elephant.
+A copy of the Weekly World News. Watch out for the chambered nautilus!
+It's the proverbial wet blanket.
+A "Get Out of Jail Free" card.
+An incredibly expensive "Mad About You" collector plate.
+Paul Moyer's necktie.
+A haircut and a real job. Now you know where to get one!
+An automated robot-hater. It frowns disapprovingly at you.
+An automated robot-liker. It smiles at you.
+It's a black hole. Don't fall in!
+Just a big brick wall.
+You found kitten! No, just kidding.
+Heart of Darkness brand pistachio nuts.
+A smoking branding iron shaped like a 24-pin connector.
+It's a Java applet.
+An abandoned used-car lot.
+A shameless plug for Maemo.
+A shameless plug for the UCLA Linux Users Group: http://linux.ucla.edu/
+A can of Spam Lite.
+This is another fine mess you've gotten us into, Stanley.
+It's scenery for "Waiting for Godot".
+This grain elevator towers high above you.
+A Mentos wrapper.
+It's the constellation Pisces.
+It's a fly on the wall. Hi, fly!
+This kind of looks like kitten, but it's not.
+It's a banana! Oh, joy!
+A helicopter has crashed here.
+Carlos Tarango stands here, doing his best impression of Pat Smear.
+A patch of mushrooms grows here.
+A patch of grape jelly grows here.
+A spindle, and a grindle, and a bucka-wacka-woom!
+A geyser sprays water high into the air.
+A toenail? What good is a toenail?
+You've found the fish! Not that it does you much good in this game.
+A Buttertonsils bar.
+One of the few remaining discoes.
+Ah, the uniform of a Revolutionary-era minuteman.
+A punch bowl, filled with punch and lemon slices.
+It's nothing but a G-thang, baby.
+IT'S ALIVE! AH HA HA HA HA!
+This was no boating accident!
+Wait! This isn't the poker chip! You've been tricked! DAMN YOU, MENDEZ!
+A livery stable! Get your livery!
+It's a perpetual immobility machine.
+"On this spot in 1962, Henry Winkler was sick."
+There's nothing here; it's just an optical illusion.
+The World's Biggest Motzah Ball!
+A tribe of cannibals lives here. They eat Malt-O-Meal for breakfast, you know.
+This appears to be a rather large stack of trashy romance novels.
+Look out! Exclamation points!
+A herd of wild coffee mugs slumbers here.
+It's a limbo bar! How low can you go?
+It's the horizon. Now THAT'S weird.
+A vase full of artificial flowers is stuck to the floor here.
+A large snake bars your way.
+A pair of saloon-style doors swing slowly back and forth here.
+It's an ordinary bust of Beethoven... but why is it painted green?
+It's TV's lovable wisecracking Crow! "Bite me!", he says.
+Hey, look, it's war. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Say it again.
+It's the amazing self-referential thing that's not kitten.
+A flamboyant feather boa. Now you can dress up like Carol Channing!
+"Sure hope we get some rain soon," says Farmer Joe.
+"How in heck can I wash my neck if it ain't gonna rain no more?" asks Farmer Al.
+"Topsoil's all gone, ma," weeps Lil' Greg.
+This is a large brown bear. Oddly enough, it's currently peeing in the woods.
+A team of arctic explorers is camped here.
+This object here appears to be Louis Farrakhan's bow tie.
+This is the world-famous Chain of Jockstraps.
+A trash compactor, compacting away.
+This toaster strudel is riddled with bullet holes!
+It's a hologram of a crashed helicopter.
+This is a television. On screen you see a robot strangely similar to yourself.
+This balogna has a first name, it's R-A-N-C-I-D.
+A salmon hatchery? Look again. It's merely a single salmon.
+It's a rim shot. Ba-da-boom!
+It's creepy and it's kooky, mysterious and spooky. It's also somewhat ooky.
+This is an anagram.
+This object is like an analogy.
+It's a symbol. You see in it a model for all symbols everywhere.
+The object pushes back at you.
+A traffic signal. It appears to have been recently vandalized.
+"There is no kitten!" cackles the old crone. You are shocked by her blasphemy.
+This is a Lagrange point. Don't come too close now.
+The dirty old tramp bemoans the loss of his harmonica.
+Look, it's Fanny the Irishman!
+What in blazes is this?
+It's the instruction manual for a previous version of this game.
+A brain cell. Oddly enough, it seems to be functioning.
+Tea and/or crumpets.
+This jukebox has nothing but Cliff Richards albums in it.
+It's a Quaker Oatmeal tube, converted into a drum.
+This is a remote control. Being a robot, you keep a wide berth.
+It's a roll of industrial-strength copper wire.
+Oh boy! Grub! Er, grubs.
+A puddle of mud, where the mudskippers play.
+Plenty of nothing.
+Look at that, it's the Crudmobile.
+Just Walter Mattheau and Jack Lemmon.
+Two crepes, two crepes in a box.
+An autographed copy of "Primary Colors", by Anonymous.
+Another rabbit? That's three today!
+It's a segmentation fault. Core dumped, by the way.
+A historical marker showing the actual location of /dev/null.
+Thar's Mobius Dick, the convoluted whale. Arrr!
+It's a charcoal briquette, smoking away.
+A pizza, melting in the sun.
+It's a "HOME ALONE 2: Lost in New York" novelty cup.
+A stack of 7 inch floppies wobbles precariously.
+It's nothing but a corrupted floppy. Coaster anyone?
+A section of glowing phosphor cells sings a song of radiation to you.
+This TRS-80 III is eerily silent.
+A toilet bowl occupies this space.
+This peg-leg is stuck in a knothole!
+It's a solitary vaccuum tube.
+This corroded robot is clutching a mitten.
+"Hi, I'm Anson Williams, TV's 'Potsy'."
+This subwoofer was blown out in 1974.
+Three half-pennies and a wooden nickel.
+It's the missing chapter to "A Clockwork Orange".
+It's a burrito stand flyer. "Taqueria El Ranchito".
+This smiling family is happy because they eat LARD.
+Roger Avery, persona un famoso de los Estados Unidos.
+Ne'er but a potted plant.
+A parrot, kipping on its back.
+A forgotten telephone switchboard.
+A forgotten telephone switchboard operator.
+It's an automated robot-disdainer. It pretends you're not there.
+It's a portable hole. A sign reads: "Closed for the winter".
+Just a moldy loaf of bread.
+A little glass tub of Carmex. ($.89) Too bad you have no lips.
+A Swiss-Army knife. All of its appendages are out. (toothpick lost)
+It's a zen simulation, trapped within an ASCII character.
+It's a copy of "The Rubaiyat of Spike Schudy".
+It's "War and Peace" (unabridged, very small print).
+A willing, ripe tomato bemoans your inability to digest fruit.
+A robot comedian. You feel amused.
+It's KITT, the talking car.
+Here's Pete Peterson. His batteries seem to have long gone dead.
+"Blup, blup, blup", says the mud pot.
+More grist for the mill.
+Grind 'em up, spit 'em out, they're twigs.
+The boom box cranks out an old Ethel Merman tune.
+It's "Finding kitten", published by O'Reilly and Associates.
+Pumpkin pie spice.
+It's the Bass-Matic '76! Mmm, that's good bass!
+"Lend us a fiver 'til Thursday", pleas Andy Capp.
+It's a tape of '70s rock. All original hits! All original artists!
+You've found the fabled America Online disk graveyard!
+Empty jewelboxes litter the landscape.
+It's the astounding meta-object.
+Ed McMahon stands here, lost in thought. Seeing you, he bellows, "YES SIR!"
+...thingy???
+It's 1000 secrets the government doesn't want you to know!
+The letters O and R.
+A magical... magic thing.
+It's a moment of silence.
+It's Sirhan-Sirhan, looking guilty.
+It's "Chicken Soup for the Kitten-seeking Soulless Robot."
+It is a set of wind-up chatter teeth.
+It is a cloud shaped like an ox.
+You see a snowflake here, melting slowly.
+It's a big block of ice. Something seems to be frozen inside it.
+Vladimir Lenin's casket rests here.
+It's a copy of "Zen and The Art of Robot Maintenance".
+This invisible box contains a pantomime horse.
+A mason jar lies here open. Its label reads: "do not open!".
+A train of thought chugs through here.
+This jar of pickles expired in 1957.
+Someone's identity disk lies here.
+"Yes!" says the bit.
+"No!" says the bit.
+A dodecahedron bars your way.
+Mr. Hooper is here, surfing.
+It's a big smoking fish.
+You have new mail in /var/spool/robot
+Just a monitor with the blue element burnt out.
+A pile of coaxial plumbing lies here.
+It's a rotten old shoe.
+It's a hundred-dollar bill.
+It's a Dvorak keyboard.
+It's a cardboard box full of 8-tracks.
+Just a broken hard drive containg the archives of Nerth Pork.
+A broken metronome sits here, its needle off to one side.
+A sign reads: "Go home!"
+A sign reads: "No robots allowed!"
+It's the handheld robotfindskitten game, by Tiger.
+This particular monstrosity appears to be ENIAC.
+This is a tasty-looking banana creme pie.
+A wireframe model of a hot dog rotates in space here.
+Just the empty husk of a locust.
+You disturb a murder of crows.
+It's a copy of the robotfindskitten EULA.
+It's Death.
+It's an autographed copy of "Secondary Colors," by Bob Ross.
+It is a marzipan dreadnought that appears to have melted and stuck.
+It's a DVD of "Crouching Monkey, Hidden Kitten", region encoded for the moon.
+It's Kieran Hervold. Damn dyslexia!
+A non-descript box of crackers.
+Carbonated Water, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Color, Phosphoric Acid, Flavors, Caffeine.
+"Move along! Nothing to see here!"
+It's the embalmed corpse of Vladimir Lenin.
+A coupon for one free steak-fish at your local family diner.
+A set of keys to a 2001 Rolls Royce. Worthless.
projects / rfk / commitdiff